Poems - Based on my thoughts

wolvamat · 12-12-2004, 02:38 AM

[color=#000000]ok here are 2 poems i wrote last night, they are written based on what i was thinking.. i just threw a few words together and rhymed and yeah thats my thoughts:

Just eating, breathing and sleeping
This is my solitude and pain within the
depth of my hell
Why do you all ignore my pain and weeping?
Can

brokencuts · 12-12-2004, 03:01 AM

you could start some indie band, if you got the vocals to back it up.

KenDaShoto · 12-12-2004, 09:52 AM

theres already a thread made for poems in RI and the people there will really give u good imput so i suggest u try to get this moved there

*WWK_Mastershake · 12-12-2004, 10:27 AM

[quote

ost_uid0="brokencuts"]you could start some indie band, if you got the vocals to back it up.

[/quote]
lol

island_chick · 12-12-2004, 06:16 PM

no offense.. tht poem is sad... wut exactly were u thinking?> like a sucidal poem.... one good thing is tht its understandable...usually i dont understand poems lol!

wolvamat · 12-12-2004, 10:56 PM

Quote:

that poem is sad

my life is sad = /.

yes i meant every word of that.

marvel911 · 12-13-2004, 01:50 PM

No offence or anything..but that is some dark stuff right there. I'd suggest seeking someone to express these poems with in person.

Virtual Fighter · 12-13-2004, 02:55 PM

that poem sucked.

if you're gonna write poetry, atleast be creative with it.

instead of saying "MY LIFE IS SAD!"

you should use the basic useage of symbolism and imagry.

you basically followed maddox's sarcastic tutorial on "dark" poetry:

Quote:

Writing bad poetry is easy when you disregard meter, pace, and rhyming scheme. Just make sure to follow a few simple guidelines:
1. Never write about anything cheerful. Remember, you are a tortured artist. Be one.
2. Be sure to use the following words at least once per sentence, no fewer than 50 times per poem: lament, loathe, soul, darkness, bitter, agony, despair, misery, anguish, pain, suffer, woe, hate, death, love, sultry, angel, rose, acrid and nihilism. Nihilism is a good one because it comes up all the time in normal conversations.

It's easy, here's a sample to get you started:

fire... burning... agony...
sultry shivers of a dark essence
why am i tortured with this nihilistic existence?
bitter... darkness... despair.

notice the constant lower case? i added that touch to be unique. unique people type in lower case.

I'm just being honesty.

Edited By Virtual Fighter on 1102978541

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12-12-2004, 02:38 AM	#1
wolvamat Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Australia - NSW - Central coast Posts: 367 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	[color=#000000]ok here are 2 poems i wrote last night, they are written based on what i was thinking.. i just threw a few words together and rhymed and yeah thats my thoughts: Just eating, breathing and sleeping This is my solitude and pain within the depth of my hell Why do you all ignore my pain and weeping? Can __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://www.boomspeed.com/wolvamat/brolysig.jpg[/img:sig_uid]

12-12-2004, 03:01 AM	#2
brokencuts Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 378 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	you could start some indie band, if you got the vocals to back it up. __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://www.deadbent.net/images/dbsig.gif[/img:sig_uid] \|DeviantArt[b:sig_uid]\|[/b:sig_uid][b:sig_uid]\|[/b:sig_uid]Deadbent.net[b:sig_uid]\|[/b:sig_uid]

12-12-2004, 09:52 AM	#3
KenDaShoto Senior Member Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Atlanta Posts: 329 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	theres already a thread made for poems in RI and the people there will really give u good imput so i suggest u try to get this moved there __________________ "They killed Kenny. YOU BASTARDS!" [img:sig_uid]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/Floaterz/kenny.jpg[/img:sig_uid]

12-12-2004, 10:27 AM	#4
WWK_Mastershake Senior Member Junior Member* Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: North Carolina! Posts: 197 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	[quoteost_uid0="brokencuts"]you could start some indie band, if you got the vocals to back it up. [/quote] lol __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v516/Darctheman/mykingdomheartssig.gif[/img:sig_uid]

12-12-2004, 06:16 PM	#5
island_chick Senior Member Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Canada eh? Posts: 175 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	no offense.. tht poem is sad... wut exactly were u thinking?> like a sucidal poem.... one good thing is tht its understandable...usually i dont understand poems lol! __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://xs27.xs.to/pics/05180/sakuraryudan.gif[/img:sig_uid]

12-13-2004, 01:50 PM	#7
marvel911 Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Northern Hemisphere Posts: 6,610 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	No offence or anything..but that is some dark stuff right there. I'd suggest seeking someone to express these poems with in person. __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y226/mcclean/M911.gif[/img:sig_uid]