Jokes (read em and post em) - If u got a joke post it even if it's dry

wargun · 04-09-2004, 07:56 PM

got bored so i decided to make this topic in anycase here's a joke and if youlike a joke give a biggrin if youdon't stay silent.

Heart Sugeon and Mechanic

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor
of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart
surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for
the service manager to come take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can
I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to
the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag
and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can
open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts
and when I finish this will work just like a new one.
So how come I get a pittance and you get the really
big money, when you and I are doing basically the
same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and
whispered to the mechanic......"Try doing it with the
engine running!"

m0u5y · 04-09-2004, 08:31 PM

ok here it goes

if a shipment is in a truck, cargo is in a ship... what's in a plane?

uh i guess its not a joke lol

VampireNinja · 04-09-2004, 08:36 PM

Look at this one: If a rooster laid an egg on a roof,on which side of the roof would the egg roll to? Left side or Right side?None!A rooster can't lay an egg! :biggrin:

Dark~Shotoken · 04-09-2004, 08:46 PM

Genre: Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you have when three BLONDES go into a freezer?
A: Three frosted flakes.
Genre: Lawyer Jokes

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

akuma_forever · 04-09-2004, 09:10 PM

[quote

ost_uid0="m0u5y"]ok here it goes

if a shipment is in a truck, cargo is in a ship... what's in a plane?

uh i guess its not a joke lol[/quote]
More of a riddle..

That heart joke was ok...

azncat · 04-09-2004, 10:18 PM

i got no joke but ill try...
what is hard and pink and goes in and comes out wet soft and still pink?
its a riddle try answerin

m0u5y · 04-09-2004, 11:03 PM

... plese tell me gum

azncat · 04-09-2004, 11:35 PM

o.0 ummmmmmmm......... possibly..... yea it is -_-"

wargun · 04-10-2004, 07:41 AM

Quick test

In algebra what's 2 multiplied by 2Q

Don't post the answer cuz u might get in troiuble :biggrin:

wargun · 04-10-2004, 07:45 AM

This one's a bit dry to me but somebody might like it so here goes:

Drunk guy

"Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked the
thoroughly sizzled gentleman.

"Shertainly," said the drunk, "an' if you'll jesh open
the door f'me, I'll prove it to you."

"You shee that piano?" the drunk began. "Thash mine.
You shee that TV? Thash mine, too. Follow me, follow
me.

The police officer followed as he shakily negotiated
the stairs to the second floor...

The drunk pushed open the first door they came to.
"Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee that bed?
Thash my bed. Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash
my wife. And shee that guy shagging her?"

"Yeah," said the cop suspiciously.

"Thash me!" exclaimed the drunk.

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04-09-2004, 07:56 PM	#1
wargun Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Dominica Posts: 613 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	got bored so i decided to make this topic in anycase here's a joke and if youlike a joke give a biggrin if youdon't stay silent. Heart Sugeon and Mechanic A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic......"Try doing it with the engine running!" __________________ http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/...erz/Wargun.gif

04-09-2004, 08:31 PM	#2
m0u5y Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Cyberspace Posts: 618 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	ok here it goes if a shipment is in a truck, cargo is in a ship... what's in a plane? uh i guess its not a joke lol __________________ Pearl's Harbor-Lucky number's 84.

04-09-2004, 08:36 PM	#3
VampireNinja Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Miami,FL Posts: 1,536 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	Look at this one: If a rooster laid an egg on a roof,on which side of the roof would the egg roll to? Left side or Right side?None!A rooster can't lay an egg! :biggrin: __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://www.usounds.com/images/gorillaz.jpg[/img:sig_uid]

04-09-2004, 09:10 PM	#5
akuma_forever Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The World Posts: 4,392 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	[quoteost_uid0="m0u5y"]ok here it goes if a shipment is in a truck, cargo is in a ship... what's in a plane? uh i guess its not a joke lol[/quote] More of a riddle.. That heart joke was ok...

04-09-2004, 08:46 PM	#4
Dark~Shotoken Member New Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 31 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	Genre: Blonde Jokes Q: What do you have when three BLONDES go into a freezer? A: Three frosted flakes. Genre: Lawyer Jokes At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

04-09-2004, 10:18 PM	#6
azncat Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: in my own lil world but it ok they know me here!! Posts: 3,202 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	i got no joke but ill try... what is hard and pink and goes in and comes out wet soft and still pink? its a riddle try answerin __________________ free candy just click here! http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?azncat morons...

04-09-2004, 11:03 PM	#7
m0u5y Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Cyberspace Posts: 618 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	... plese tell me gum __________________ Pearl's Harbor-Lucky number's 84.

04-09-2004, 11:35 PM	#8
azncat Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: in my own lil world but it ok they know me here!! Posts: 3,202 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	o.0 ummmmmmmm......... possibly..... yea it is -_-" __________________ free candy just click here! http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?azncat morons...

04-10-2004, 07:41 AM	#9
wargun Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Dominica Posts: 613 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	Quick test In algebra what's 2 multiplied by 2Q Don't post the answer cuz u might get in troiuble :biggrin: __________________ http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/...erz/Wargun.gif

04-10-2004, 07:45 AM	#10
wargun Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Dominica Posts: 613 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	This one's a bit dry to me but somebody might like it so here goes: Drunk guy "Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked the thoroughly sizzled gentleman. "Shertainly," said the drunk, "an' if you'll jesh open the door f'me, I'll prove it to you." "You shee that piano?" the drunk began. "Thash mine. You shee that TV? Thash mine, too. Follow me, follow me. The police officer followed as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor... The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. "Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee that bed? Thash my bed. Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. And shee that guy shagging her?" "Yeah," said the cop suspiciously. "Thash me!" exclaimed the drunk. __________________ http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/...erz/Wargun.gif