Who here is very funny? - I see that there aint a joke section - Page 5

DA_VIPA · 01-25-2003, 03:53 PM

i dont get it.....but im here 2 save da day with anotha joke(yay!)

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely.
The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.
Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going.
"Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit."
The father asked her what had happened.
"The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole."
"Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

coolplayer2K2 · 01-25-2003, 04:47 PM

heres a joke kinda my friend jager told me no jagger but jager.

mommy can i come in the shower with u.no.plz.ok.
mommy whats that.thats a garage honey.
daddy can i come in the shower with u.no.plz.ok.
daddy whats that.thats a car honey
mommy and daddy can i sleep with u.no.plz.ok
mommy whats that?thats a car going inside the garage.

ok not a joke eh more like sometin to do with porn but heres a joke.

yo momma is so dum when the plane sign said Left and a arrow pointing left she though the plane left so when home.

another one.

y is a stone so heavy.bc its one "ton:

MasterX05 · 01-25-2003, 09:36 PM

I got one like yours coolplayer my friends always said jokes like that when we were lil.
kid: Mom can I take a shower with u
Mom: ok but u cant look up or down
(in the shower the kid looks up)
Kid: mommy whats that
Mom: uh my head light's
(kid looks down)
Kid:Mommy whats that
Mom: uh my grass

Kid: Daddy can I take a shower with u
Dad: ok but u cant look down
(kid look's down)
kid

addy whats that
Dad:umm my snake
the child walks in his parents bedroom and screams
kid:MOMMY their is a snake in your grass turn your headlights on!

G_GUNDAM · 01-25-2003, 09:59 PM

here is an old school joke.

its called a hard life.

**ok there was a carrot, some lettuce, and a dick. the lettuce says, i have a hard life. my master puts me in a cold box. then he breaks a peacee of me and eats me in a sandwich. the carrot says, i have a hard life. my master gets a knife and cuts me into some hot boiling water. then the dick says, i have the hardest life. my master puts this tight rubber suit on and puts me in a wet dark cave. then he makes me do push ups untill i throw up.**

i thought it was funny :laughlong:

Strider42 · 01-25-2003, 10:13 PM

Some1 told me this joke. I dunno what was wrong with her but this joke sounds funny though.

Yo daddy is so bald, when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a broken condom.

Or this 1

Yo mama's so big. fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Walmart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.
hilarious

I'm sure you heard of those stores.

Strider42 · 01-25-2003, 10:27 PM

Or this 1,

There is a MASTER around here

But his real name is BATER

Put those two words in caps together and see what you come up with.... :laughlong:

coolplayer2K2 · 01-26-2003, 04:54 AM

lol strider ur back neways that waz funny master heres another one

oh wait i dont got another one

DA_VIPA · 01-26-2003, 05:02 AM

lol really nice jokes/disses ppl...

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

DA_VIPA · 01-26-2003, 12:28 PM

fine thats real great make me double post and fell like a #### damn ppl if wasnt funny u could at least laugh at my jokes

but none the less the show must go on...

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your #####?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

coolplayer2K2 · 01-26-2003, 12:49 PM

lol :lol: :laughlong:

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01-25-2003, 04:47 PM	#42
coolplayer2K2 Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,938 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	heres a joke kinda my friend jager told me no jagger but jager. mommy can i come in the shower with u.no.plz.ok. mommy whats that.thats a garage honey. daddy can i come in the shower with u.no.plz.ok. daddy whats that.thats a car honey mommy and daddy can i sleep with u.no.plz.ok mommy whats that?thats a car going inside the garage. ok not a joke eh more like sometin to do with porn but heres a joke. yo momma is so dum when the plane sign said Left and a arrow pointing left she though the plane left so when home. another one. y is a stone so heavy.bc its one "ton: __________________ [quote:sig_uid][b:sig_uid]A wise ma nonce said...Fluck You[/b:sig_uid][/quote:sig_uid]

01-25-2003, 09:36 PM	#43
MasterX05 Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 2,468 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	I got one like yours coolplayer my friends always said jokes like that when we were lil. kid: Mom can I take a shower with u Mom: ok but u cant look up or down (in the shower the kid looks up) Kid: mommy whats that Mom: uh my head light's (kid looks down) Kid:Mommy whats that Mom: uh my grass Kid: Daddy can I take a shower with u Dad: ok but u cant look down (kid look's down) kidaddy whats that Dad:umm my snake the child walks in his parents bedroom and screams kid:MOMMY their is a snake in your grass turn your headlights on! __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://www.dr.dk/skum/boogie/_img/235x140/kanye_west.jpg[/img:sig_uid] Kanye west-Diamonds are forever Diamonds are forever Throw your diamonds in the sky if you feel the vibe Diamonds are forever The Roc is still alive every time I rhyme.

01-25-2003, 09:59 PM	#44
G_GUNDAM Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 793 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	here is an old school joke. its called a hard life. ok there was a carrot, some lettuce, and a dick. the lettuce says, i have a hard life. my master puts me in a cold box. then he breaks a peacee of me and eats me in a sandwich. the carrot says, i have a hard life. my master gets a knife and cuts me into some hot boiling water. then the dick says, i have the hardest life. my master puts this tight rubber suit on and puts me in a wet dark cave. then he makes me do push ups untill i throw up. i thought it was funny :laughlong: __________________ fear is my pleasure, hatred is my nourishment........... [img:sig_uid]http://upl.silentwhisper.net/uplfolders/upload5/TESTAMENT.jpg[/img:sig_uid] [img:sig_uid]http://upl.silentwhisper.net/uplfolders/upload6/ggxtestament.jpg[/img:sig_uid]

01-26-2003, 04:54 AM	#47
coolplayer2K2 Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,938 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	lol strider ur back neways that waz funny master heres another one oh wait i dont got another one __________________ [quote:sig_uid][b:sig_uid]A wise ma nonce said...Fluck You[/b:sig_uid][/quote:sig_uid]

01-25-2003, 03:53 PM	#41
DA_VIPA Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ...haha u cant find me Posts: 2,364 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	i dont get it.....but im here 2 save da day with anotha joke(yay!) It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble. Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going. "Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit." The father asked her what had happened. "The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole." "Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

01-25-2003, 10:13 PM	#45
Strider42 Senior Member Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 174 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	Some1 told me this joke. I dunno what was wrong with her but this joke sounds funny though. Yo daddy is so bald, when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a broken condom. Or this 1 Yo mama's so big. fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Walmart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target. hilarious I'm sure you heard of those stores.

01-25-2003, 10:27 PM	#46
Strider42 Senior Member Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 174 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	Or this 1, There is a MASTER around here But his real name is BATER Put those two words in caps together and see what you come up with.... :laughlong:

01-26-2003, 05:02 AM	#48
DA_VIPA Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ...haha u cant find me Posts: 2,364 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	lol really nice jokes/disses ppl... One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

01-26-2003, 12:28 PM	#49
DA_VIPA Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ...haha u cant find me Posts: 2,364 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	fine thats real great make me double post and fell like a #### damn ppl if wasnt funny u could at least laugh at my jokes but none the less the show must go on... A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your #####?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" "Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

01-26-2003, 12:49 PM	#50
coolplayer2K2 Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,938 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	lol :lol: :laughlong: __________________ [quote:sig_uid][b:sig_uid]A wise ma nonce said...Fluck You[/b:sig_uid][/quote:sig_uid]