hellboy666
07-29-2004, 06:22 PM
hey u guys wanna hear sum jokes lol. Q: what do Santa and Micheal Jackson have in common?
A: they both leave little kids rooms with empty sacks.............
What do K-Mart and Micheal Jackson have in common?
They both have little boys pants half off.
A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts
on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs
down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave
when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy
voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."
Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents
to the children, you know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in
an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a
while..."
Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go.
Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."
Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta
get the presents to the children, you know."
She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...."
Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta
stay, Gotta stay! Can't get up the chimney with my pecker this way!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and
Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just
before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the
floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two
don't exist!
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Q. but do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.
Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
A. Come in eight flavors.
Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q. What's six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play
with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What is the new gay website address?
A. c : enter ### (see colon enter pound pound pound).
Q. What is the new O.J. website address?
A. slash slash backslash escape.
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.
Q. What's got four legs and one arm?
A. A Rottweiler.
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
A. When you open her legs the lights go on.
Q. When does a cub become a boy scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie.
Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.
Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A. He was half nuts!!!
Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you
have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end
you
lose your house.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the
U.S.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters
Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q: Why do women have ######s?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.
Q: What is the new gay website address?
A: c : enter # # #
Q: Why do men like big tits and tight #####?
A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.
Q: Why don't women have any brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A: A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up
your bush.
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: So he could run his fingers through his hair.
Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half mast?
A: They're hiring.
Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying, "Yo".
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.
Q: Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q: What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage, along with a recipe.
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say flip?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: What's the Cuban national anthem?
A: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Q: What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..." A Southern
fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this poop..."
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast
infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're
nuts.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.
. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A. They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador.
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter
pilots?
A. You only have to teach them to take off.
Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A. B-52...F-16...B-2.
Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck.
black oneliners
Q: Why are aspirins white?
A: Because they work.
Q: How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag?
A: Her brothers dick tasted funny.
Q: What has six legs and goes: "Ho-de-do, ho-de-do, ho-de-do"?
A: Three blacks running for the elevator.
Q: What's the definition of the word "Confusion"?
A: Father's day in Harlem.
Q: Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?
A: Because every time the seargeant said: "Get down!" they stood up
and started dancing.
Q: What did God say when he saw the first black person?
A: Ooops, I burnt one!
Q: Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?
A: He doesn't know he's black.
Q: Blacks took over Toys R us.
A: The renamed it to We B toys.
Q: A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
A: It's called Nacho Mama.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a black person?
A: A Snowblower that Doesn't work!
Q: What do you call an Negro with a peg leg?
A: poop on a stick.
Q: What does an apple and a Negro have in common?
A: They both look soooo pretty hanging from a tree.
Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Q: Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
A: They have to pick cotton to get to them.
Q: What did the black women get for getting an abortion?
A: Fat cash from crime stoppers.
Q: What does a black person get for Christmas?
A: Your bike!!!
Q: How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
A: Hang one in the front!!
Q: What is the difference between a black and a bucket of poop?
A: The bucket.
Q: Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
A: Because it is probably your bike.
Q: Why are black people so tall?
A: Because their knee grows.
Q: Why do black people wear hats covering their face?
A: So the birds don't poop on their lips.
Q: What is white with a black asshole?
A: The A-Team
Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice um.
Q: How many black people does it take to pave a road?
A: Depends on how heavy the roller is.
Q: When is the only time u concentrate on a black man.
A: Behind the eyepiece of your rifle.
Q: What's the difference between batman and a blackman?
A: Batman can go to the store with out robin.
Q: What's the difference between poop and a black?
A: Eventually poop turns white and stops stinking.
Q: Is it better to be born black or gay?
A: Black - because you don't have to tell your folks.
Q: How do they say "flip you" in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An interracial couple in a car wreck.
Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.
Q: What's the definition of black foreplay?
A: Don't scream or I'll kill you.
Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
A: Ever try and take a rib from a black.
Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the black or the Pole?
A: The Pole because the black had to stop to write "motherfliper" on
the wall.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
A: 6 more weeks of basketball season.
Q: Why do blacks always have sex on their minds?
A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
Q: Did you hear about the ####lack French restaurant?
A: It's called Chez What.
Q: What did Lincoln say after his five day drunk?
A: I freed whom.
Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.
Q: Why don't blacks like blowjobs?
A: They don't like any jobs.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black prostitute with a Chinese
woman?
A: A broad that sucks shirts.
Q: Why do blacks raise chickens?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.
Q: How do you make a black nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A: A black and Decker pecker wrecker.
Q: What do you call a black test tube baby?
A: Janitor in a drum.
Q: Why do blacks smell so bad?
A: So the blind can hate them too.
Q: How did they invent break dancing?
A: Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.
Q: Why did God invent golf?
A: So white people could dress up like blacks.
Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand?
A: A tycoon.
Q: Why do blacks keep their fly's open?
A: In case they have to count to eleven.
Q: What do you call a black man in a tree?
A: A branch manager.
Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's day.
Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha fliper.
Q: How do you stop a black baby from crying?
A: Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
Q: What do you call 4 blacks in a 57 chevy?
A: Blood vessel.
Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves?
A: So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.
Q: What is black and has four legs and goes Hol De Doe, Hol De Doe?
A: Two blacks running for the elevator.
Q: Why did God invent the climax?
A: So blacks would know when to stop fliping.
Q: Why did so many blacks get killed in the war?
A: When the Colonel yelled get down, they all got up and danced.
Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: A 7'2" black man with a small prick, that can't play basketball.
Q: What do you call a black with a ####ike?
A: A thief.
Q: What do you call a black with a new caddie?
A: A better thief.
Q: Why don't black kids jump on their beds?
A: Because they'll stick to the velcro on the ceiling.
Q: How do you get them down once they're stuck?
A: Tell Mexican kids they're pinatas.
Q: Did you hear about Klu Klux Kneivel?
A: He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.
Q: How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?
A: It is not there.
Q: What do you call a black with no arms?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: Why do black women where high heels?
A: So their knuckles don't drag.
Q: What do you call a black guys condom?
A: A duffle bag.
Q: Why are black guys eyes red after sex? A: From the pepper spray.
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10,000 black guys?
A: Warden.
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?
A: The quarterback.
Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff?
A: The car holds 6.
Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: What do you call a black person on birth-control?
A: Crime prevention.
A: they both leave little kids rooms with empty sacks.............
What do K-Mart and Micheal Jackson have in common?
They both have little boys pants half off.
A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts
on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs
down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave
when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy
voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."
Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents
to the children, you know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in
an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a
while..."
Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go.
Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."
Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta
get the presents to the children, you know."
She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...."
Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta
stay, Gotta stay! Can't get up the chimney with my pecker this way!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and
Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just
before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the
floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two
don't exist!
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Q. but do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.
Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
A. Come in eight flavors.
Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q. What's six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play
with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What is the new gay website address?
A. c : enter ### (see colon enter pound pound pound).
Q. What is the new O.J. website address?
A. slash slash backslash escape.
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.
Q. What's got four legs and one arm?
A. A Rottweiler.
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
A. When you open her legs the lights go on.
Q. When does a cub become a boy scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie.
Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.
Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A. He was half nuts!!!
Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you
have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end
you
lose your house.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the
U.S.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters
Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q: Why do women have ######s?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.
Q: What is the new gay website address?
A: c : enter # # #
Q: Why do men like big tits and tight #####?
A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.
Q: Why don't women have any brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A: A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up
your bush.
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: So he could run his fingers through his hair.
Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half mast?
A: They're hiring.
Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying, "Yo".
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.
Q: Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q: What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage, along with a recipe.
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say flip?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: What's the Cuban national anthem?
A: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Q: What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..." A Southern
fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this poop..."
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast
infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're
nuts.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.
. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A. They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador.
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter
pilots?
A. You only have to teach them to take off.
Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A. B-52...F-16...B-2.
Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck.
black oneliners
Q: Why are aspirins white?
A: Because they work.
Q: How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag?
A: Her brothers dick tasted funny.
Q: What has six legs and goes: "Ho-de-do, ho-de-do, ho-de-do"?
A: Three blacks running for the elevator.
Q: What's the definition of the word "Confusion"?
A: Father's day in Harlem.
Q: Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?
A: Because every time the seargeant said: "Get down!" they stood up
and started dancing.
Q: What did God say when he saw the first black person?
A: Ooops, I burnt one!
Q: Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?
A: He doesn't know he's black.
Q: Blacks took over Toys R us.
A: The renamed it to We B toys.
Q: A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
A: It's called Nacho Mama.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a black person?
A: A Snowblower that Doesn't work!
Q: What do you call an Negro with a peg leg?
A: poop on a stick.
Q: What does an apple and a Negro have in common?
A: They both look soooo pretty hanging from a tree.
Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Q: Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
A: They have to pick cotton to get to them.
Q: What did the black women get for getting an abortion?
A: Fat cash from crime stoppers.
Q: What does a black person get for Christmas?
A: Your bike!!!
Q: How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
A: Hang one in the front!!
Q: What is the difference between a black and a bucket of poop?
A: The bucket.
Q: Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
A: Because it is probably your bike.
Q: Why are black people so tall?
A: Because their knee grows.
Q: Why do black people wear hats covering their face?
A: So the birds don't poop on their lips.
Q: What is white with a black asshole?
A: The A-Team
Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice um.
Q: How many black people does it take to pave a road?
A: Depends on how heavy the roller is.
Q: When is the only time u concentrate on a black man.
A: Behind the eyepiece of your rifle.
Q: What's the difference between batman and a blackman?
A: Batman can go to the store with out robin.
Q: What's the difference between poop and a black?
A: Eventually poop turns white and stops stinking.
Q: Is it better to be born black or gay?
A: Black - because you don't have to tell your folks.
Q: How do they say "flip you" in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An interracial couple in a car wreck.
Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.
Q: What's the definition of black foreplay?
A: Don't scream or I'll kill you.
Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
A: Ever try and take a rib from a black.
Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the black or the Pole?
A: The Pole because the black had to stop to write "motherfliper" on
the wall.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
A: 6 more weeks of basketball season.
Q: Why do blacks always have sex on their minds?
A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
Q: Did you hear about the ####lack French restaurant?
A: It's called Chez What.
Q: What did Lincoln say after his five day drunk?
A: I freed whom.
Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.
Q: Why don't blacks like blowjobs?
A: They don't like any jobs.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black prostitute with a Chinese
woman?
A: A broad that sucks shirts.
Q: Why do blacks raise chickens?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.
Q: How do you make a black nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A: A black and Decker pecker wrecker.
Q: What do you call a black test tube baby?
A: Janitor in a drum.
Q: Why do blacks smell so bad?
A: So the blind can hate them too.
Q: How did they invent break dancing?
A: Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.
Q: Why did God invent golf?
A: So white people could dress up like blacks.
Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand?
A: A tycoon.
Q: Why do blacks keep their fly's open?
A: In case they have to count to eleven.
Q: What do you call a black man in a tree?
A: A branch manager.
Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's day.
Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha fliper.
Q: How do you stop a black baby from crying?
A: Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
Q: What do you call 4 blacks in a 57 chevy?
A: Blood vessel.
Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves?
A: So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.
Q: What is black and has four legs and goes Hol De Doe, Hol De Doe?
A: Two blacks running for the elevator.
Q: Why did God invent the climax?
A: So blacks would know when to stop fliping.
Q: Why did so many blacks get killed in the war?
A: When the Colonel yelled get down, they all got up and danced.
Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: A 7'2" black man with a small prick, that can't play basketball.
Q: What do you call a black with a ####ike?
A: A thief.
Q: What do you call a black with a new caddie?
A: A better thief.
Q: Why don't black kids jump on their beds?
A: Because they'll stick to the velcro on the ceiling.
Q: How do you get them down once they're stuck?
A: Tell Mexican kids they're pinatas.
Q: Did you hear about Klu Klux Kneivel?
A: He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.
Q: How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?
A: It is not there.
Q: What do you call a black with no arms?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: Why do black women where high heels?
A: So their knuckles don't drag.
Q: What do you call a black guys condom?
A: A duffle bag.
Q: Why are black guys eyes red after sex? A: From the pepper spray.
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10,000 black guys?
A: Warden.
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?
A: The quarterback.
Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff?
A: The car holds 6.
Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: What do you call a black person on birth-control?
A: Crime prevention.