Little billy

[bloodpack]

just another hilarious stuff i got from my email

> LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER
>
> Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on
> one candy bar after another.
>
> After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from
> him said,
>
> "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for
> you. It will give you acne, rot your
>
> teeth, and make you fat."
>
> Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be
> 107 years old."
>
> "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6
> candy bars at a time?"
>
> "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own
> fliping business!!"
>
>
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
>
> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
> sitting on a fence and you
>
> shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
>
> She calls on little BILLY.
>
> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
> first gunshot."
>
> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
> like your thinking."
>
> Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU.
> There are 3 women
>
> sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
>
> delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of
> ice cream. The second
>
> is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
> third is biting off the
>
> top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
>
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well,
> I suppose the one
>
> that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>
> To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer
> is 'the one with the
>
> wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
>
>
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH
>
> Little BILLY returns home from school and says he
> got an F in arithmetic.
>
> "Why?" asks the father."
>
> "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"
> replied BILLY.
>
> "but that's right!" says his dad.
>
> "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
>
> "What's the fliping difference?" asks the father?
>
> "That's what I said!"
>
>
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH
>
> Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
> "Today we are going to
>
> learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have
> an example of a
>
> multi-syllable word?"
>
> BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
>
> Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
> that's a mouthful."
>
> Little BILLY says,
>
> "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>
>
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR
>
> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the
> teacher asked for a show
>
> hands from those who could use the word "beautiful"
> in the same sentence
>
> twice.
>
> First she called on little Suzie, who responded
> with, "My father bought my
>
> mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in
> it."
>
> "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
> called on little
>
> Michael.
>
> "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned
> out beautifully."
>
> The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then,
> she reluctantly called
>
> on little BILLY.
>
> "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my
> father that she was
>
> pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fliping
> beautiful." :biggrin: