Advice >_<

[m0u5y]

hey.... since there have been topics of this nature posted previously it wont hurt for me to do the same lol...
well here... my bf and i seem to have this language gap, i mean hes a thug raised in the ghetto n stuff and i understand that he uses a certain language, but to me its very hurtful, yet i've been trying to get over it, and he seems not to understand what i say or takes it somehow as im talkin **** to him (maybe its the big words lol). i recently emailed him asking if he was ok and if work was stressing him out.. and the next thing you know he replies with.. WT**** in big caps... and im like... where did that come from. i recently emailed him again trying to understand why he said that and all i get is attitude... now, i dont want to see something that might not be there but well... his actions seem to say that hes like ***** some chick. i mean, i cant see what kind of person he really is cuz he acts different with different people and i never will know if hes sincere when he sais that he'd never do such a thing or if he told me about what he really thinks. im trying to trust someone for once.. and it seems to be shooting me in the foot. this kid otherwise would be in deep trouble, since he gets bored he has his fun, and i mean he gets himself in deep crud. the kid isnt that bad but well.. u know how it goes.. friends and boredom... so well unless im there to use his time (yeah.. what am i his baby sitter?) he would surely do something stupid. its funny how the only faithful ones (male or female) end up caring for someone who dont give a ####. so, what do you think... should i try to work things out talking as we've done so far, and yes it has worked, until something else has come up (and maybe im the only one that can see the light at the end of this poor kid's tunnel) or just ditch the idea, put no effort into it... and get over it... well that would take me a while. ^_^ so what ya think? lol man it sounds like we're already married and what not.

[Saijin_Ryu]

Ok im gonna try and give the all the advice i can on relationships that i have picked up over my years and try and see how it could help you in your dilema.

First off, instead of emailing him, why not give him a phone call to see how he is, its alot easier to say **** like that in an email rather then over the phone. And when you get to talking to him dont be too pressuring and ask him simple questions like : How was your day, what have you got planned, and see how he reacts. Then if you feel that your in a conversation where it feels that he wont start getting frustrated or an attitude, try and talk to him about your relationship and his input towards it, also try and show how your trying to keep your relationship strong.
You want him to open up over the phone rather then in an email, its much luss confusing and is more 1 to 1.
Try and also get to the bottom of why he's been acting so weird and why he has to put a mask on infront of his other friends.

[EvilAkuma]

Y e-mail him, better off calling him. Sending him e-mail seem like you don't like him. It's like you don't want to listen to his voice. But if you know there something wrong that pist him off very easy or having a bad life let him cool down. Talk to him when he's in a good mood. But if not, then look for another one



Edited By EvilAkuma on April 05 2004 at 14:54

[vx_unicom]

Yes.........calling him would be a better idea, he might think that u don't like the way he speaks. From how he reacted from the email u sent him, it sounds like he his under alot of stress and frustration. Wait for a couple of days untill he calms down and then ask him how he is feeling. Play along as much as u can untill he finally opens up to u. After that try and calmly call him and ask him how he feels towards your relationship,U NEVER KNOW, he might still have feeling for u but just under alot of stress and pressure. Also when talking to him try and identify by the way he speaks whether he is telling the truth or lying to u.........TRY and OUTSMART him by asking him tricky questions as well to make sure he is telling the truth or lying........thats when u will know how he feels about your relationship!!!!



Edited By vx_unicom on April 05 2004 at 18:15

[-Travon-(Lil-h)]

beat thing for u to do is call em
nuff said

[azncat]

why not call him and talk about whats wrong? if that dont work you could just try to help him calm himself

[m0u5y]

well i never actually talk to him cus he never pays attention. i dont call cuz hes jus gonna kinda go huhuh. the thing is... he needs to be beaten up. we were better off as friends, cus even in person he just kinda gives me **** and its not reasonable for me to get mad, while if i say something he thinks im talkin ****. He is known to have the shortest temper in the world and now after i explained he no longer talks to me. thing is hes gonna come back, try to get me to apologise by being nice, then the cycle will go all over again. i figured hes being fake to me... but well, i need to get my stuff back from him lol. i dont like being used as a cook and a time waister.

he has the habbit of just pretending nothing is wrong. thats the problem. he will not talk about it and will get pissed off again if i try. i think i know why hes with me lol.



Edited By m0u5y on April 06 2004 at 14:56

[m0u5y]

dude youve never heard him. hes like f*** here and f*** there and hoe here and hoe there. its just disrespectul, but even then i still took it. im one of the few that can put up with him. im dumb for caring soo much for someone that cares for me so little. he expects for me to tell him if i have a problem but when i finally tell him that i feel like hes distancing he gets MAJORLY pissed off. i mean like hed kill someone. he gave me false signals by saying he liked that i was so considerate and caring, and suddenly he just snaps. hes moody and i really dont know how to act with his different personalities. until now ive had to apologise for things i havent even done just to keep us toghether but im tired of it. after a couple of days of him not showing up ive figured we were better off as friendly nemesis'. anyway, the guy is too demanding. im not his slave lol. he wonders why he always has his gfriends cry and break down and yell at him... now i know why.

See, that first post... well i was still sad and wanted to be with him ... so i was defending him... stupid of me eh?



Edited By m0u5y on April 06 2004 at 14:57

[SnuggLes__]

aight if youll want a dignified response here's one from a bear-_- lol..

anyways from wat i can tell thats some poop you in.. At first i thought it was an online relationship(im like forget him then) then youll started talkin about callin him... Well Well Well this is my territory...

I mean your in a relationship with a guy who clearly doesnt care about wat he says or does to a gurl that he's with.. And you clearly care about him a lot, but there's times you just got to move on.. because if you think about it in a couple of years will it be worth all that just to stay with some one who dont feel the same way you fell about them.. I mean , im guessing your young and you got your whole life ahead of you... you shouldnt be hurting yourself over this one guy, cause youll endup finding someone who cares about you that youll like more..(aka me) jk.. lol...

Sometimes i hate hearing things like that... *youll find someone else* .. there's always new fish in the sea* lol.. i personally think thats garbage lol... but thats just me.. but its true sometimes.. i mean youll be hurt .. but if this guy really cares about youll he'll change himself for you.. it shouldnt be you changing yourself for him because it seems like he's the one with the problems.. but thats my opinion..

lol one last thing vote snuggles!!! :laugh: (da pimpking!! )

[Saijin_Ryu]

I like how i give the original advice about calling him...then everyone else says exactly the same thing...really useful that is

damn n00bs taking over RI piss me off.