Joke page! - Send in funny junk u find on the web

DA_VIPA · 10-30-2003, 04:56 AM

post jokes pics etc.. and make us laugh! nothing to rude ppl or the mods wil have something to say about it!

il get the ball rolling..

Stupid people fearing
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

Edited By DA_VIPA on Oct. 30 2003 at 13:01

digital~fighter · 10-30-2003, 05:34 AM

hahaha nice stuff bro!

i have one..

stupid blond lady going to a TV store...
so she asks the shop keeper if they have color TV's
shop keeper: yes! sure we have!
so the blondy says ahhhh nice!! i want a red one plz!

hope ya get it

DA_VIPA · 10-30-2003, 08:08 AM

lol,i just found out some laws
New York
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

Carmel
A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

Greene
During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

New York
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."

Ocean City
It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.

It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.

Staten Island
It is illegal for a father to call his son a "###got" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."

You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

MegaManX34 · 10-30-2003, 02:12 PM

wut do u call a blonde turned upside down?
a brunette :laughlong:

wut did raggedy ann do when she got horny?
she got on pinochio and said tell a lie tell the truth tell a lie tell the truth

DA_VIPA · 10-31-2003, 01:58 AM

lol..
A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

"How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"

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10-30-2003, 05:34 AM	#2
digital~fighter Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,048 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	hahaha nice stuff bro! i have one.. stupid blond lady going to a TV store... so she asks the shop keeper if they have color TV's shop keeper: yes! sure we have! so the blondy says ahhhh nice!! i want a red one plz! hope ya get it __________________ [img:sig_uid]http://www.boomspeed.com/oren/dF4.gif[/img:sig_uid] [img:sig_uid]http://www.boomspeed.com/oren/digitaltag.jpg[/img:sig_uid] DiGiTaL FiGhTeR NWO Staff

10-30-2003, 02:12 PM	#4
MegaManX34 Senior Member Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 240 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	wut do u call a blonde turned upside down? a brunette :laughlong: wut did raggedy ann do when she got horny? she got on pinochio and said tell a lie tell the truth tell a lie tell the truth __________________ A.K.A=Cable2k2

10-30-2003, 04:56 AM	#1
DA_VIPA Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ...haha u cant find me Posts: 2,364 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	post jokes pics etc.. and make us laugh! nothing to rude ppl or the mods wil have something to say about it! il get the ball rolling.. Stupid people fearing WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde. Edited By DA_VIPA on Oct. 30 2003 at 13:01

10-30-2003, 08:08 AM	#3
DA_VIPA Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ...haha u cant find me Posts: 2,364 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	lol,i just found out some laws New York The penalty for jumping off a building is death. Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll. A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket. While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline. It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. Carmel A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. Greene During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks. New York You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building. Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing." Ocean City It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town. It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle. Staten Island It is illegal for a father to call his son a "###got" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior." You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

10-31-2003, 01:58 AM	#5
DA_VIPA Senior Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ...haha u cant find me Posts: 2,364 Post Thanks / Like Thanks (Given): 0 Thanks (Received): 0 Likes (Given): 0 Likes (Received): 0 Dislikes (Given): 0 Dislikes (Received): 0 Points: 0 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)	lol.. A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her. "How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly. The other blonde replied "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"