uh... ssx, i'm guessin you are talking about lara?
lol, i never knew you two had such a "serious" relationship, lol.
anyways, i always like giving out love advice(but i have no love life
).
first of all, you really need to drop your "bad habits". *cough*masturbating*cough*
and second, can you give us more info about yourself? like how old you are, your education. and give more info about lara. i can't come up with a solution without carefully analyzing your problem.