[MagFlare]

BrainDed is, of course, joking.

In order to escape newbie status, we must travel to a secluded monastary in Tibet where the elders will teach us the ancient and forgotten art of Internet etiquette. Once we've completed our training, we will be sent on a quest to obtain a sacred jewel from the dark temple of Nolan Bushnell, which is naturally protected by a fanactical army of old-school gamers. Only after presenting this gem to the elders will we finally be able to advance beyond the level of "newbie."

Alas, I am not yet strong enough to achieve this goal.