Being intelligent and wanting/having to have the last word are two different things. Don't get me wrong, there is some intelligence involved when you set out to prove someone wrong; however, I think it's thick-headedness more than anything that determines the victor in a debate.
You see, some people absolutely refuse to lose an argument. Sometimes it makes no difference how well you presented yourself, how many good points you made, or how relevant your argument was, the opposing party will completely disregard everything you said, simply because they had to win. To them, their argument wasn't an opinion, but the word. I used to be like that; I grew up.
A prime example of this, is Zing79's policy of 'having the last word,' then rudely locking the topic, preventing any further discussion. I've seen him do that on more than one occasion. If those are the debating skills you talked about, I'm not impressed.
The whole point of a debate is to try to convince the other side your point of view. But what good is debate when you don't keep an open mind going into it? How can you expect the other side to see your point of view, when you're too thick-headed to try to see where they are coming from? Everyone loses sight of this when they argue, especially when it comes to serious topics, such as the existence of God, abortion, politics, and racism. Everyone knows where they stand going into it, and nobody budges an inch. What's the point?
I'll never be good at debate for the simple fact that I make a sincere effort to understand where the other person is coming from. If they present themselves well, in a legitamite and non-badgering manner, I've been known to cave in on more than one occasion. I'll admit that there are certain things that I am very opinionated on, and won't sway very easily, but that doesn't mean that I don't take into consideration everything that the other person is saying. My goal is to resolve an argument, and not necessarily win it.
People that are good at debate won't cave in under any circumstances. They will, in a very subtle manner of course, try to make you look like you don't know what you are talking about. And if you do manage to contradict them on even the most minor point, they'll try to twist your words around. Winning debates, on the more serious level anyways, is all about how ruthless and relentless you are. Never give up, and never admit that you are wrong.
I can usually tell where an argument is headed very quickly. One of three things will happen when you argue with me. You might present yourself very well, and change my mind. I might present myself well, and change your mind. Or, the third possibility, I might present myself well, and my opponent will keep the argument going, out of pure emotion, and not logic. If this happens, I usually step out of the argument. In fact, unless it is something that I feel very strongly about, I usually step out of the argument very quickly anyways. I usually come and say my piece, and leave it at that. Arguing endlessly is pointless, and you usually just end up going in circles. I think it's better to 'plant the seed of possibility' in someone's mind, and just let them ponder it. Maybe they'll come around, maybe they won't. But you won't be any better off by badgering them to death, for the sake of looking good in front of everyone else, just to have the last word.
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