[quote
ost_uid6="DA_VIPA"]Yo Mamma is so fat,
The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she sits on a dollar, blood rushes out George Washington's nose!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her belly-button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she walks in front of the T.V. you miss out on 3 commercials!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
people jog around her for exercise!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she makes big bird look like a rubber duckie!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she plays pool with the planets.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
it took 25 minutes to download a picture of her from the Internet.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her dentist treats her by mail-order.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her pillow cries at night.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even the elephant man paid to see her.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her shadow quit.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her face is closed on weekends!
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even the tide won't come back in.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
when I gave her a dollar and asked for a quater back, she gave me Dan Marino.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo Mamma is so old,
her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she drove a chariot to high school.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.
Yo Mamma is so old,
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
the telephone company gave her two area codes!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she ran out into the road in front of me, I tried to swerve round, but ran out of petrol.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
that after sex I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
the Goodyear blimp accidently flew into her mouth!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she wears a yellow raincoat, people shout "Taxi!"
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her feet need license plates!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
that she has to use a VCR for a pager.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I can #### her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast."
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her shadow ran away from her.
...im just getting warmed up
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she asked you "What is the number for 911".
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo Mamma is so poor,
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo Mamma is so poor,
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she drives a peanut.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo Mamma is so poor,
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
her tits give sour milk.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she has a sign by her ##### that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she breeds crabs.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
ill get some mo later
[/quote
ost_uid6]
Craza.......