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-   -   Immigration woes - True story! (http://nferno666.sytes.net/forums/showthread.php?t=15679)

Warmor 11-29-2004 05:51 PM

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the
border into Canada has intensified in the past week,
sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal
immigration. The re-election of President bush is prompting
this exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they'll
soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill
O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see
dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists
and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went
out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba
farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North
Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range
chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't
even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In
an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected
higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he
tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh
across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows
so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly
concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the
Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons,
drive them across the border and leave them to fend
for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared
to rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman
said.

"I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.
They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across
the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution
from the conservatives. Rumors have been circulating
about the bush administration establishing re-education
camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned
to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus
trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After
catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered
wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The
Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,"
an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal
immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage
and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for the American liberals, but the Canadian
economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident
said. "how many art-history majors does one country
need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the United
States and Canada Vice President Dick Cheney met with
the Canadian ambassador and pledged the administration
would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close
to Cheney said.

"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.
And we might put some endangered species on postage
stamps. The President is determined to reach out."

SSJDan 11-30-2004 01:32 PM

is this a joke? ???

Virtual Fighter 11-30-2004 01:34 PM

True story.

Canadian conservitives also want to come to the US, i heard it on the daily show. :blues:

SSJDan 11-30-2004 01:43 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Virtual Fighter"]i heard it on the daily show. :blues:[/quote]
Some how the source doesn't seem very reassuring, funny show though, but seriously people think bush has liberal reeducattion centers?

on a second note if the people do leave how will they be able to change anything?

Virtual Fighter 11-30-2004 02:54 PM

They wont. moving away from your problem is like...

well, i think i've made my point. Republicans are just getting more and moer problems, and by trying to addapt to what they want is just getting them stronger.

i was watching leno the other day, and Micheal Moore was in a suit with a mop top saying "if you can't beat them, dress like them".

kerry quit the fight rather quickly, and that pretty much sent the message of "hope is lost! hope is lost!"

What we need now is a crazy radical... like, REALLY crazy. like as crazy as MLKj or malcolm X were crazy.

and he should start early, and start marching in the streets, and shout nd be angry.

we need someone to unite the democrats, and convert moderates from both sides.

and he (yes, its gonna be a guy. The only way we'll get a women in the white house is if she's a republican, since they vote against minorities and women, so if the enemy is one of your own, you'll be forced to vote for her.) has to be cool, and oen with the people.

but the only name i can think of is barraho bhama.

Angel-Eyes 11-30-2004 03:02 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Virtual Fighter"]What we need now is a crazy radical... like, REALLY crazy. like as crazy as MLKj or malcolm X were crazy.[/quote]
nope....this country doesnt need even more divisions among one another...

you trying to start another civil war?

Virtual Fighter 11-30-2004 04:32 PM

Quote:

nope....this country doesnt need even more divisions among one another...

you trying to start another civil war?
Another civil war? HELL YES. The last civil war was worth it - it got rid of slavery.
And if you didnt know this, MLKj and Malcolm X were like 100 years after the civil war, their time was called "the civil rights movment".

If you didn't realize this, MLKj and Malcolm X kicked fliping ass. We need some more of them, not some more sissy ass lickers like bush and cheney.

Warmor 11-30-2004 06:07 PM

I converted from a fat elephant to a cute ass. I voted bush the frist time, this last time I voted Kerry. Like VF said, well kinda, we need someone to start early. Just doing the election grind every 4 years...people will more than likely vote for whatever they already are, R or D, but if someone starts early, gets people behind him...starts gathering votes 2 years or more before the election...then we could see something.

They tried the "Vote or Die" thing on MTV...the only problem with that, all the celeberties doing that weren't registerd to vote anyway and probably were drunk on Nov. 2 and didn't even now it was election day....

Cable2k2 12-01-2004 01:22 PM

i find dat very ironic Canadians if youfind an american in ur farm or on ur property shoot on site

Angel-Eyes 12-01-2004 01:27 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Virtual Fighter"]
Quote:

nope....this country doesnt need even more divisions among one another...

you trying to start another civil war?
Another civil war? HELL YES. The last civil war was worth it - it got rid of slavery.
And if you didnt know this, MLKj and Malcolm X were like 100 years after the civil war, their time was called "the civil rights movment".

If you didn't realize this, MLKj and Malcolm X kicked fliping ass. We need some more of them, not some more sissy ass lickers like bush and cheney.
[/quote]
the civil war wasnt fought over slavery...it was about states rights

north carolina (I think) and other states refused to settle the matter peacefully....so they made their own country, one thing led to another, the war broke out, and at the end of it all there were 618,000 americans dead...


now I really dont think you want to have another civil war, I sure as hell dont......


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