hey i'm the funniest guy in this forum!!!

:p

if that was a joke i'd laugh..but anyway..

A travelling salesman was about to check in at a hotel when he noticed a very charming bit of femininity giving him the eye. In a causal manner he walked over and spoke to her as though he had known her all his life. Both walked back to the desk and registered as Mr. and Mrs.
After a three-day stay he walked up to the desk and informed the clerk that he was checking out. The clerk presented him with his bill for $1600.
"There is a mistake here," he protested. "I have been here only three days."
"Yes," replied the clerk, "But your wife has been here a month."

u ppl are soo boring man... must i keep double posting??...i have soo many jokes 2 tell u guys but hardly any1 has good jokes for me 2 hear :( lol j.k....

A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife.
He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water."
She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!"
He replied, "Thank God!"

Ok here's a lil rhyme I made up

I know this blockhead
yeah you heard me, blockhead
this girl has a blockhead
and she gives the whole blockhead...

Read this as many times as you want until you understand what I'm saying...
;)
Later

Lmfao!!!!!!!! haha i think strider is rhyming about himself again:/

lol strider :laugh: any1 here watch jackass?...

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

oke u want laugh go 2 This page real good yo mama jokes
:laughlong: :colgate: :laugh: :lol: :biggrin:

heres 1 i know

yo mama is so fat she put burger king out of stock last night :D

ok that was so damn funny, i'm gonna tell that joke to my parents !

a blonde came from the maket to his car, only to notice someone had bumped it and did a big bump on her door ! a guy who was passing buy in his truck notice it was a blonde and decided to make fun of her !

GUY:"hey, you want to get this bump out of your door right ?"
BLONDE:"yeah !"
GUY:"then blow into the doorlock of the door and it will fix the thing !"
BLONDE:"oh ! thanks a lot !"
the guy was laughing hard when he continued on !
the blonde putted her lips into the doorlock hole and started to blow in it
another blonde came by...
BLONDE2:"oh, you're un-bumping your door ! but you don't blow at the right place, it is in the exaust behind the car that you must blow in !"
BLONDE:"oh, thanks !"
the other blonde leaved the place !
so the blonde putted her mouth on the exaust started to blow in it !
a third blonde passed by and started to laught as hard as she could !
BLONDE:"why are you laughing, you know i'm trying to un-bump my car door !"
BLONDE3:"i know, i know, but you will never suceed ! HAHAHAHHAHA !"
BLONDE:"why is that so ?"
BLONDE3:"HAHAHAHA YOUR WINDOWS ARE OPEN HAHAHAHAHHA"

[quote:post_uid0="Sportschick155"]Lmfao!!!!!!!! haha i think strider is rhyming about himself again:/[/quote]
hmmm what if Sports is that blockhead?
Does she really have a blockhead?
Does she really give the whole blockead?

You've got questions?

I've got answers :D

Of Course
I was rhymin about Sports
Who the hell you think was talkin about? :laughlong:
Note: You don't see that symbol "j/k", do ya?

....OH THATS IT BUDDY, IM GONNA SPANK YO ASS!!! lmfao jk ur just plain mean ???

aww, lighten up and stop taking things so seriously ;)

suck...THAT!---> :buttrock:

:D

ehem s-t-l dont spam plz but anyway...

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

lol :lol:
good 1 :laughlong:

lol good 1 vipa :laughlong:

[quote:post_uid0="DA_VIPA"]ehem s-t-l dont spam plz but anyway...[/quote]
GRRR... :angryfire:

dont make me report u s-t-l stop spamming here its no good at least come up with a joke or somthing...

A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.
"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if ..."
The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."
The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

[quote:post_uid0="DA_VIPA"]dont make me report u s-t-l stop spamming here its no good at least come up with a joke or somthing...[/quote]
report me ! ??? im shocked ??? ??? ok i will stop

LMFAO Vipa you are the funniest in this forum...i think i have read every one of your post in this thread..lol please keep it up :) :biggrin: :buttrock: :laugh:

i have this aunt, aunt jemima, who has this dog named pancake. everyday she wash the dog cause she want it clean and she put it in the oven to dry for 5mins. now aunt jemima knew how to cook, but she was never interested in technology that much. so we bought her a microwave but she never used it, until one time she decided to dry pancake in there. so she put him in, set the thing for 5mins and when it was done, pancake was still wet, but his insides were good enough to eat.

[quote:post_uid0="Sportschick155"]....OH THATS IT BUDDY, IM GONNA SPANK YO ASS!!!
suck...THAT!--->[/quote]
lol I think strider might enjoy that lmao.

lol yeh eh virtual spanking :D

[quote:post_uid0="Sportschick155"]lol yeh eh virtual spanking :D[/quote]
sick freaks these days
Sports how would you give me a virtual spanking ???
You're weird.
Sports, what did I tell you about giving the whole blockhead.
I need a joke, I'll think of something of later

strider shut it

nope :D
check this out

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/mariotwins.htm

how about..Y.E.S

i have another one. remember little johnny?

he and his mother was walking to the store and they saw a condom on the ground. little johnny saked 'mommy what is that?' she said 'its a biscut. now dont eat it.' she went in the store, did her shopping and when she came out, the condom was gone. she asked johnny 'did u eat that biscut?' he said no mommy but i did eat the filling inside.'

whoa man lol. Now that's funny :D

eeww sick man lol :biggrin:

i have another one if anyone wanna hear.

hehe nice 1'z snake but i still got some...

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."
The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six."
Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs."
The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"

hey i'm the funniest guy in the world!!! :laugh: i'm serious :p

listen up..

if a sad cockroach thought he was a human, why doesn't a human think he's a cockroach? why? because he's not a c

um......i dont get it..but anywayz...

Little Johnny brought a box wrapped with a red ribbon to school, as a present for his teacher. He handed it to her. She started to guess what was inside.
"Chocolates?" she asked.
"Nope."
"A Cake?"
Johnny shook his head No. Then the teacher noticed some liquid dripping from the corner of the box.
She caught a few drops on her finger, put the finger in her mouth then said, "Ah, I know-dill pickles."
"No," Johnny said, "it's a puppy."

ok here sumthing that happened on my first day back to school. [i had a week off and was startin new classes. it was feb 3rd.]

i was waiting to swipe my ID card to enter the school and these girl were screaming so loud, i almost got a headache in a few minutes. and throughout the day, girls were hugging and screaming like they havent seen each other in years when it has only been a week. it was 'the color purple' all over the school.

??? 'the colour purple'? whas that suppose ta mean? but heres anotha.....

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the ten commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat Little Johnny answered, "thou shall not kill."

[quote:post_uid0="DA_VIPA"]??? 'the colour purple'? whas that suppose ta mean?[/quote]
Its a old black movie with Whoopi Goldberg in it. U have to see it yourself to get what solidsnkae said.

ooooh ok has jackass the movie come out in usa?