*In gas station*

I'd like a pack of beer...and some...a pack of...Malboro..

Cashier: My I see your ID?

...What ID...

Cashier: Your driver's license please..

Oh....Oh that! Oh I have it...*pulls out fake ID*

Cashier: Um...Sir...This isn't real..

Huh...what are you talking about...

Cashier: This picture looks nothing like you sir...This is a picture of an Asian person...

What? I had my arm shot off in Veitnom!

Cashier:....

And a makeover!

Cashier: Oh...Here's your change sir.

Oh yeah...Come to daddy..

*walks out*
Why are you guy looking at me like that...I didn't go to the liquer store....

Ok, here's another story...

It was a saturday, I was watchin old episodes of dragon ball z...watchin goku get his ass kicked...Till one of my homeboys threw a rock at my window to get my attention.

(And it broke...)

*Yo Chris! Come on out so we could hag out at the bar!*

I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME CHRIS...

*Sorry!*

So I went with my pals to meet up with some of our colleages at a local bar, I went with my fake ID...

Drunk Dude: Hey Chris...Howz it goin?...

DON'T TOUCH ME.

Drunk Dude: Hey man...lighten up, it a party!...

I DON'T KNOW YOU.

Drunk dude: Come on...You know you wanna party!...

GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.
*walks away*

Hm? Who is this...*spots a chick*

Chick: *winks*

Oh yeah...*walks over*

Chick: Why hello big boy...

Hello...

Chick: wanna go in the car and...do a little dance?

Hey what's with the deep voice...

Chick: come on..you know you want me..

HEY YOUR SCARING ME...*backs away*

Chick: Come here...BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPP....

<span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>OH MY GOD...SHE'S A...A MALE SHE!!!!</span>
*runs out of bar*

Drunk Dude: Hey Chris! Where ya goin?...They're mixin up fruit cocktail!...

I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!*runs away*

Drunk Dude: What a sad, sad life...*sips beer*