i dont get it.....but im here 2 save da day with anotha joke(yay!)


It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely.
The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.
Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going.
"Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit."
The father asked her what had happened.
"The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole."
"Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

heres a joke kinda my friend jager told me no jagger but jager.

mommy can i come in the shower with u.no.plz.ok.
mommy whats that.thats a garage honey.
daddy can i come in the shower with u.no.plz.ok.
daddy whats that.thats a car honey
mommy and daddy can i sleep with u.no.plz.ok
mommy whats that?thats a car going inside the garage.

ok not a joke eh more like sometin to do with porn but heres a joke.

yo momma is so dum when the plane sign said Left and a arrow pointing left she though the plane left so when home.

another one.

y is a stone so heavy.bc its one "ton:

I got one like yours coolplayer my friends always said jokes like that when we were lil.
kid: Mom can I take a shower with u
Mom: ok but u cant look up or down
(in the shower the kid looks up)
Kid: mommy whats that
Mom: uh my head light's
(kid looks down)
Kid:Mommy whats that
Mom: uh my grass

Kid: Daddy can I take a shower with u
Dad: ok but u cant look down
(kid look's down)
kid:Daddy whats that
Dad:umm my snake
the child walks in his parents bedroom and screams
kid:MOMMY their is a snake in your grass turn your headlights on!

here is an old school joke.

its called a hard life.

**ok there was a carrot, some lettuce, and a dick. the lettuce says, i have a hard life. my master puts me in a cold box. then he breaks a peacee of me and eats me in a sandwich. the carrot says, i have a hard life. my master gets a knife and cuts me into some hot boiling water. then the dick says, i have the hardest life. my master puts this tight rubber suit on and puts me in a wet dark cave. then he makes me do push ups untill i throw up.**

i thought it was funny :laughlong:

Some1 told me this joke. I dunno what was wrong with her but this joke sounds funny though.

Yo daddy is so bald, when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a broken condom.

Or this 1

Yo mama's so big. fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Walmart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.
hilarious

I'm sure you heard of those stores.

Or this 1,

There is a MASTER around here

But his real name is BATER

Put those two words in caps together and see what you come up with.... :laughlong:

lol strider ur back neways that waz funny master heres another one

oh wait i dont got another one

lol really nice jokes/disses ppl...

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

fine thats real great make me double post and fell like a #### damn ppl if wasnt funny u could at least laugh at my jokes :(
but none the less the show must go on...

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your #####?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

lol :lol: :laughlong:

thank you thank you! *bows and receives mountains of money*

its very touching coz when i told my friends that i was gona become a comedian they all laughed!.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him.
"No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier.
But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline.
Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE ####### DISHES"

Lol :laughlong: :laugh:

ok check this out

a-t-t-i-c
Spell this word. Try to say it really fast and see what you come up with. Please get this 1

Or this 1

Do you know what a therapist is?
You'd say "a therapist is like a psychologist"
ahem you are wrong.
Look at the word therapist again.
It really says The Rapist.

lol the rapist but i still dont get the attic

Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

can any1 tell me how 2 put pics from my harddrive in2 my posts?

ever heard of the story of little johnny?

little johnny and his mother were walking through the park and they saw to pple having sex

johnny: mommy, what are those pple doing?
mom: um.........baking a cake. now c'mon honey.

later on at home mommy and daddy were having sex. after that little johnny came down to the living room and said:

johnny: i know u 2 were baking a cake cause i licked the frosting.

HAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

[quote:post_uid0="DA_VIPA"]thank you thank you! *bows and receives mountains of money*

its very touching coz when i told my friends that i was gona become a comedian they all laughed!.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him.
"No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier.
But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline.
Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE ####### DISHES"[/quote]
Good one vipa :D Say a-t-t-i-c out loud to yourself

ahh i dont get it attic attic attic attic attic attic haaaaa

*sighs* if u say it it will sound liike u said A titte I see

lol sorry i forgot atiti i c so what is that suppuse to mean

breast, melons, jugs, puppies, the big ku-ho-nas, boobs,

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>THE 2 BIG THINGS ON A WOMAN U WANT TO FONDLE!!!!!!</span>

U never heard of the word tit's?

2 jokes i have seen on a SELLING web site called www.lespac.com at some point !

1 -
selling great car !
mechanics A10
only one or two RUST spot that does about all the car !
ready to give it away in exchange of a working bike !

can't find the other one i was talking about...
so heres what i know !

2 -
BLONDE GIRL:"i want that TV sir !"
SALESMAN:"sorry we don't sell to BLONDE !"
*the blonde goes at home and decide to color her hairs in black then comes back !*
BLONDE:"i want that TV"
SALESMAN:"sorry we don't sell to blonde !"
*very mad, she undergo an entire changes ! new skin, new face, new hairs, new clothes*
BLONDE:"i want that TV"
SALESMAN:"sorry but we don't sell too blonde !"
BLONDE:"i have enough, i did everything to let you know i'm not one, how did you know i was a blonde ?"
SALESMAN:"ma'am, that's because it is not a TV, but a MICROWAVE !"

well karma, u just proved that blondes are stupid lol.

[quote:post_uid0="MasterX05"]*sighs* if u say it it will sound liike u said A titte I see[/quote]
At least he knows. Thank you Master Bater hahahahahahahaha :D

most blondes I know are dimwitted.

How about the really old jokes. Like this 1

Take your hand and hold on your tongue from moving. Now... say "I live in a pirate ship"

This joke is old so I expect every1 to understand this 1.

lol a good classic

bloneds are really dum and that i agree with

hey u better cut the blonde jokes out right diss instance! my girl is blonde....

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

here is a funny quick movie i tried to get it to flash but it wont work so go to www.themichaelsmith.com link here>

link

go to animation then click on the car ,the buggy.

Ok i these up sorry if yawl heard it before but here it is:
Ur momma is so slow when someone told her she won a million bucks
She started to run thur the house screaming ahhhhh!!!! stampeed

UR momma is so slow when she went to wal-mart to buy a new bra and they asked her what was her what cup was she went to the Utensil and dinnerware section and said i think im a tea cup. :laughlong: :laugh: :laughlong:

these no0oobs come to this game faster than fat pple to McDonalds.

[quote:post_uid0="DA_VIPA"]hey u better cut the blonde jokes out right diss instance! my girl is blonde....

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."[/quote]
blonde jokes who said we where joking lol.

lol w/e man....

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fu,ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?"
He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

can som1 plz tell me how 2 get pics from my harddrive in2 my posts!!

yea bro upload the pic's
go to here and upload it

bro i tried that it says that its temporaraly unavailable...any way...

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."



Edited By DA_VIPA on Jan. 30 2003 at 18:37